Old People and Technology

Though I know this post will probably come back to haunt me when I’m nearing Back In My Day status, I honestly can’t help but get incredibly irritated when watching anyone over the age of 40 use technology. Watching an older person try to Google something is like being subjected to the whole 10 hour loop of Nyan Cat: the first time through is adorable, then you just feel like clawing your face off (For those of you who don’t get that reference, I’ve linked the video in the previous sentence. It’s the blue words. Also, you may want to finish reading this post. I’m probably talking about you.).

So, I’ve compiled a list of the things I’ve seen my elders do that really make me want to bang my head against a wall.

1) They Google everything.

“Hey, you know you can type Youtube.com right into the URL box since you  already know that’s where you want to go, right? It’s much faster.”

-“I like doing it this way. It’s easier.”

2) I take it back. They AOL Search everything.

-“Mom. Google is better.”

-“This is on my homepage!”

3) They type with one finger and look up after hitting each key.

-“Can I type it, please? At least watch yourself typing with all your fingers!”

-*click*…*click*…*click*…

4) They might have learned how to text, but they can’t do anything else while doing it.

-“Hey, guess what?”
-*texting slowly with a determined look on face*

-“Hello?…”
-*still texting…puts phone down*
-“…Did you hear me?”

-“What?”

5) If you actually get them to play video games with you, they think moving the controller helps them move their player.

Image

I bet that’s why Nintendo came out with this.

These were just five of the most annoying things about old people and technology. Maybe these don’t bother you very much. Maybe other things do. Leave a comment and let me know.

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6 thoughts on “Old People and Technology

  1. While I’m sure your tongue was firmly planted in your cheek as you wrote these (that’s old people speak for “LOL”), as one of your (over-40) elders, let me dispel at least 4 of these myths.

    1) Not only do I not Google “You-Tube”, I access it through my “Google Chrome” when I log in.
    2) I use “Google” as my primary search engine. I don’t remember ever using AOL.
    3) I can type nearly 100 words a minute (with all my fingers and not looking at the keyboard).
    4) I have been known to chat, text, post, listen to Spotify and follow Facebook at the same time.

    As for video games, I am convinced they are designed by evil forces intent on sucking the humanity right out of your soul and leaving you a defenseless drone.

    Keep up the good writing!

    • Haha, thank you for the comment. I hope I didn’t offend you or anyone else of that age. That’s not what I intended. This post was specifically written as a fun little jab at some over-40’s in my life and for humor for the masses. I think that’s wonderful that you’re one of the exceptions to my list! I appreciate the feedback!

    • Hahahahaha oh my goodness, don’t forget about any kind of electronic card and the distrust of the world around them. “I’ll swipe it myself, thank you,” and then timing the machine out six times with variations of “Way too fast” and “Way too slow”, and no respect at all for the middle-ground.

  2. I feel so elderly. Just last year it was explained to me that the internet didn’t refer to the extra lining manufacturers install in swimming trunks. Oh well. This is a busy week for me, as I learn to type on something other than an IBM Selectric. The post was really funny and the book choice in your header photo is awesome. Well done.

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