P90X Results: How I Failed and Succeeded at Bringing It with Confidence

Last night I enjoyed a delicious plate of fettuccini alfredo, the after-effects of which were not nearly as satisfying as the initial taste, nor did their food-baby inducing ways contribute in any form to the desired skinny feeling often associated with completing a workout program.

And I have completed a workout program. I finally completed P90X.

And for some reason I’ve decided to reward myself with an all-out feast of the foods I so desperately tried to avoid during the last ninety days.

Remember him?

Remember him?

“What? Lee, I thought you had committed yourself to a new lifestyle, to living healthy and making the right dietary choices? What about Tony Horton? What about Bringing It?” says the Collective Voice of my Readers.

Don’t worry, guys. I did bring it. I pushed play every day for ninety days – no missed days – and I sweat until I was satisfied that the sweet stench of victory would be forever absorbed into my clothes. And yet despite all my hard work, when this past Monday came and I was due to take my final pictures and measurements, I was still greatly disappointed.

I didn’t lose any weight.

In fact, I’d gained two pounds. My measurements neither increased nor decreased, and, for the most part, I felt as though I looked relatively the same as when I started – rather disappointing after ninety consecutive days of determination.

And what made me struggle even more with these results was that I was so excited to share my Before and After success story with you all. I wanted to be one of those people I had seen so many times on Youtube, sharing their amazing, drastic results. I wanted visible proof of my commitment and effort. And I didn’t get it. I was so sure I wanted to show my results pictures with you, but after seeing those numbers, I felt embarrassed and needed to rethink my decision. And after taking the whole of the week to think about it, I’ve come to a conclusion.

The pictures don’t matter.

It doesn’t matter that I didn’t lose any weight or that my body didn’t transform dramatically after that short amount of time. Because what I saw in those pictures was a slight physical change, a change brought about by the determination and sheer will to stick with my goal, no matter how difficult or worthless I might have felt it was going to be. I didn’t quit. I held on. I completed something I set out to do. And that’s enough for me.

I can’t expect miracles to happen in three months. The fact that I, an extremely lazy person who has struggled with exercise and weight her whole life, was able to push through the pain and workout for that long consecutively seems like a miracle to me. So I want to keep exercising, not because it will necessarily help me lose weight, but because it makes me feel so accomplished afterward. I love how it makes me feel. It’s healthy for my body and my mind. Better eating habits will follow (because eating too much pasta does not make you feel good).

Maybe this wasn’t the inspirational post I had first envisioned writing, but I do feel that it’s still important. Do not give up. You will see results. Though it may take longer than you had hoped, you will see them. And just because you don’t notice much of a physical change doesn’t mean you haven’t changed at all (just maybe not in the way you first expected).

If I'd been smart enough to take these in front of a white wall...

If I’d been smart enough to take these in front of a white wall…

this crappy editing wouldn't have been necessary. I apologize for the crappy quality of these pictures.

this crappy editing wouldn’t have been necessary. I apologize for the crappy quality of these pictures.

(I decided to show one partial Before and After picture, only because I feel that it’s important to show what an exercise program like P90X can do, even if I didn’t get all the physical changes I wanted. I plan on continuing on with other programs and exercises, and I hope to write about those as well in the future. If you enjoy reading about that kind of stuff, be sure to follow along.)

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Resolutions Revisited: Wow, I Suck

Let’s be honest here.

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How many of us have kept our New Year’s Resolutions?

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Let’s get a show of hands.

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(Now, this is the part where you all raise your hand and make me feel less horrible about completely failing at my goal this year.)

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Oh good…none of you.

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Now that that’s out of the road, let’s talk goals.

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While losing weight and sticking to P90X this time wasn’t really my New Year’s Resolution, I did mention it in my second ever post as one of the goals I had for this year.

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And whether P90X meant P90X or just a whole lot of hardcore exercise, this goal hasn’t seen a whole lot of progress. School this past semester was a lot more exhausting than I had first imagined, and the stamina and will power I needed just wasn’t there.

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But before I continue to justify myself with excuses, I just want you guys to know that I’m not beating myself up about this.

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No, really.

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Don’t get me wrong, it would be very easy to hate myself right now. Just look at the title of this post. But what I’m really trying to focus on is not how much I’ve failed, but how easy it will be to try again.

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In fact, I’m starting today.

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Yes, this very day is going to be the start (again) of a new phase in my life, a phase where I start to take control of my health and happiness, do my best, and forget the rest.

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I can’t focus on tearing myself down if I’m trying to bring myself up.

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It’ll be hard. I’ll be out of shape again. I’ll probably want to quit after my workout tonight. And maybe I will. The point is I’m trying.

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And I’m going to try to try harder.

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For myself, for you guys, and for that results post I so badly want to blog about and you all probably don’t want to read.

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Too bad, because for the next 90 days, I’m going to bring it. And so should you.

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With your goal.

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Not mine.

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Unless your goal is the same…

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You get the point.

Just look at that motivational sunset…

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